I find myself surrounded by the dark of night
Having difficulty remembering the light of day.
The memories of long ago, once so good
Now lost in the fog of time.
At first it was easy to remember the bright days
So much joy, so much promise to start.
But the heart has trouble holding on
And the memories grow thin, only to be replaced with painful void.
To have loved and lost is not better, no.
That phrase could not have been spoken by a wise man.
For now the heart struggles to replace love
And rather than joy can only find pain.
To experience so much, so young
What is one to think of the future?
I know I can’t expect to have all the answers, but
How do life’s experiences fit into God’s plan?
And we know that in all things God works
God works for the good of those who love him!
Nothing will be able to separate us from the love of God
From the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord!
BJ
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Oh My!, NE
I have been remiss not to give an update on a trip to Omaha, NE that happened earlier this month. It was one of the more amazing communal experiences I have had.
A few months ago Hayne moved to Omaha in anticipation of his being wed to Nicole. Their wedding was on December first and was beautiful.
God has been taking me on a journey to understand community and it's impact on my life and it's necessity inside christian spirituality. Hayne has been a huge part of this experience and he and Nicole recognize this need in their lives and likewise in their marriage.
Often it seems that we attend weddings or are involved in the ceremonies and two things dominate the day: the bride and/or the couple. Now, while there may be something to this focus there also seems to be something that is largely overlooked.
There were a few things that really stood out in my mind. Hayne and I talked often that weekend about the role of myself and the other groomsmen hold. We weren't there simply as witnesses, but as those closest to him that will hold him accountable to the promises that he was making to Nicole. We weren't just there for the weekend, we were there to symbolize being there the rest of our lives. I am sure that Nicole discussed similar things with her bridesmaids.
Not only was there this emphasis with the bridal party but there were some differences in the ceremony. Nicole and Hayne wrote their own vows to each other. They both did amazing with this and spoke some beautiful words. The maid of honor and best man both spoke after this. Each giving vows on behalf of the bridesmaids and groomsmen respectively. Then the community that attended the wedding pledged to support Hayne and Nicole with an "I do".
The ceremony was really touching. It wasn't simply two individuals making a promise, but a community coming together, focused on two specific members, all taking part in a covenant that is focused on honoring God.
A few months ago Hayne moved to Omaha in anticipation of his being wed to Nicole. Their wedding was on December first and was beautiful.
God has been taking me on a journey to understand community and it's impact on my life and it's necessity inside christian spirituality. Hayne has been a huge part of this experience and he and Nicole recognize this need in their lives and likewise in their marriage.
Often it seems that we attend weddings or are involved in the ceremonies and two things dominate the day: the bride and/or the couple. Now, while there may be something to this focus there also seems to be something that is largely overlooked.
There were a few things that really stood out in my mind. Hayne and I talked often that weekend about the role of myself and the other groomsmen hold. We weren't there simply as witnesses, but as those closest to him that will hold him accountable to the promises that he was making to Nicole. We weren't just there for the weekend, we were there to symbolize being there the rest of our lives. I am sure that Nicole discussed similar things with her bridesmaids.
Not only was there this emphasis with the bridal party but there were some differences in the ceremony. Nicole and Hayne wrote their own vows to each other. They both did amazing with this and spoke some beautiful words. The maid of honor and best man both spoke after this. Each giving vows on behalf of the bridesmaids and groomsmen respectively. Then the community that attended the wedding pledged to support Hayne and Nicole with an "I do".
The ceremony was really touching. It wasn't simply two individuals making a promise, but a community coming together, focused on two specific members, all taking part in a covenant that is focused on honoring God.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Hello Denver!
In two days I embark on a journey to Denver. Actually Longmont, but same difference. I expect great things from this trip. I get a couple of days off for one thing, but most importantly I get to see one of my closets friends get married and will get some quality time with people I don't often see.
As this trip has approached I've been overwhelmed with memories, which I find to be somewhat interesting because I typically have a horrible memory, but I suppose that is a different issue. Jeff is getting married on Saturday and I have thought about the journey that has brought him to this point and us to this point in our friendship. We have been friends since my freshman ('99), his senior, year in college. Since this time he has been a cornerstone for frienship in my life and while I won't get into the details of our lives...there has been plenty that has gone on in them over the past 8 or so years.
From fraternity functions (Muggin' at the Gazeebo), to football (Jeff was an all-american kicker for the team I work with), to school things like Battle of the Ravine (Go Tigers!!) I see the things I experienced for 4 years and have many fond memories and it is great to enjoy those memories and be back here to build on them and establish new ones. I also remember the hard times and the heart ache and wish that those things could be mended into something beutiful. But I know God has used them and is using the experiences that Jeff and I have had both as individuals and as friends to let us learn more about who He is.
I believe in miracles, even when they aren't the miracle I expected. In two days, with all these old memories behind us, I will stand beside Jeff as he promises his life to another. (What greater picture of God's love is there!?). As his friend I go there to not only support him and his commitment, but to say that I will hold him accountable to his commitment to love her and be active in that marriage as well. It makes me so excited for him, I know Julie is a blessing in his life and that their lives, their life, will be a blessing to so many.
I am thankful for the memories that I have, even when it is hard. I am thankful for Jeff and Julie and what God has done in their lives. Please offer a prayer of blessing for them and take a moment to dwell on all that God has done and is doing.
My love to you my friends.
As this trip has approached I've been overwhelmed with memories, which I find to be somewhat interesting because I typically have a horrible memory, but I suppose that is a different issue. Jeff is getting married on Saturday and I have thought about the journey that has brought him to this point and us to this point in our friendship. We have been friends since my freshman ('99), his senior, year in college. Since this time he has been a cornerstone for frienship in my life and while I won't get into the details of our lives...there has been plenty that has gone on in them over the past 8 or so years.
From fraternity functions (Muggin' at the Gazeebo), to football (Jeff was an all-american kicker for the team I work with), to school things like Battle of the Ravine (Go Tigers!!) I see the things I experienced for 4 years and have many fond memories and it is great to enjoy those memories and be back here to build on them and establish new ones. I also remember the hard times and the heart ache and wish that those things could be mended into something beutiful. But I know God has used them and is using the experiences that Jeff and I have had both as individuals and as friends to let us learn more about who He is.
I believe in miracles, even when they aren't the miracle I expected. In two days, with all these old memories behind us, I will stand beside Jeff as he promises his life to another. (What greater picture of God's love is there!?). As his friend I go there to not only support him and his commitment, but to say that I will hold him accountable to his commitment to love her and be active in that marriage as well. It makes me so excited for him, I know Julie is a blessing in his life and that their lives, their life, will be a blessing to so many.
I am thankful for the memories that I have, even when it is hard. I am thankful for Jeff and Julie and what God has done in their lives. Please offer a prayer of blessing for them and take a moment to dwell on all that God has done and is doing.
My love to you my friends.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Come Thou Fount, Come Thou King
Come Thou Fount, Come Thou King
Come Thou Fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace
Streams of mercy never ceasing
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet
Sung by flaming tongues above
Praise the mount I’m fixed upon it
Mount of Thy redeeming love
I was lost in utter darkness
‘Til You came and rescued me
I was bound by all my sin when
Your love came and set me free
Now my soul can sing a new song
Now my heart has found a home
Now Your grace is always with me
And I’ll never be alone
Come Thou Fount come Thou King
Come Thou precious Prince of Peace
Hear Your bride to You we sing
Come Thou Fount of every blessing
O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be
Let Thy goodness like a fetter
Bind my wandering heart to Thee
Prone to wander Lord I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love
Here’s my heart Lord take and seal it
Seal it for Thy courts above
Come Thou Fount come Thou King
Come Thou precious Prince of Peace
Hear Your bride to You we sing
Come Thou Fount of every blessing
Come Thou Fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace
Streams of mercy never ceasing
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet
Sung by flaming tongues above
Praise the mount I’m fixed upon it
Mount of Thy redeeming love
I was lost in utter darkness
‘Til You came and rescued me
I was bound by all my sin when
Your love came and set me free
Now my soul can sing a new song
Now my heart has found a home
Now Your grace is always with me
And I’ll never be alone
Come Thou Fount come Thou King
Come Thou precious Prince of Peace
Hear Your bride to You we sing
Come Thou Fount of every blessing
O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be
Let Thy goodness like a fetter
Bind my wandering heart to Thee
Prone to wander Lord I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love
Here’s my heart Lord take and seal it
Seal it for Thy courts above
Come Thou Fount come Thou King
Come Thou precious Prince of Peace
Hear Your bride to You we sing
Come Thou Fount of every blessing
Monday, August 27, 2007
Passing of Time
There are times in my life that I look back and can't believe how much time has passed. Recently I have noticed how much time has passed since I spent quality time studying my Bible, or in true prayer, or just in general reflection. It is so easy to let life take over and live the basic day to day, without allowing anything seemingly meaningful to cross my mind.
I can say with confidence that this is not the way I want to carry out my life. With these thoughts in mind I have this to say.
A few weeks ago Hayne posted on his blog under the heading Hebel. (You can check him out at pipesandpints.blogspot.com) Hebel being described as a vanishing mist and the undertones of Hayne's statements were that he was having trouble finding general meaning in life because everything seems to pass as a vanishing mist...Hebel.
I have thought about this and the affects we have on the people around us. I recently spoke with a professor at the school I work with. He made some moves that has pulled him out of his administrative rolls and put him back into the classroom. I was talking with him about this and it was a simple realization of the fact that time with his students, and time with his church community are the important things that he needs to be focusing on. It seems evident that he is pleased with this change and that he has confidence that God will honor his actions. (I tend to agree with that and have a great deal of respect for this man just for doing it)
Just last night I was at a concert. A band called 12 Stones was in Little Rock. I have supported the band for years mostly because I know the lead singer. I think their music is outstanding as well, but I could be a little bias. I had the opportunity to talk with this guy last night though. I hadn't seen him since the summer of 2000, but when he saw me he immediately remembered me, by name, and was reminded of some shared experiences and shared life.
I guess my point is this...we can learn from the Hebel. Many of the experiences in life may be but a vanishing mist when you look at the full picture, but that mist affects us. Hayne leaves for Omaha in October. If we never talk again, if the substance of our friendship vanishes like a mist, it doesn't become meaningless. I have been affected, changed, by that friendship. The lives that this professor touches because he is teaching in the classroom and in the community with all of his heart, will forever be affected by him.
My life has affected the singer of a band and likewise his has affected mine. The moments we have, we share, in life may be vanishing by that doesn't equate to meaningless. I know God calls me, as a Christian, to live a life caring for the poor, the broken, the hungry. I am sure he also desires that I show love and give a positive impact on the lives of the hundreds of people I come in contact with every day. I will be a simple vapor in most of their lives, maybe a thick fog in others, but I will have an affect either way. More specifically, I will have an affect on how they see God. Will they see him as meaningless?
I hope that I never overlook the Hebel in my life, for all those things have come together to make me who I am at this moment. I am not complete and I am far from perfect. It is clear that I cannot do any of this on my own...but I don't have to.
It can be easy to let ourselves get discouraged, to think of all that we have lost and will never again hold in our arms. That pain is real and it needs to be felt, it can't be ignored. However, there are blessings all through our lives and there is the good news because the Lord of all creation calls us into relationship with him. My prayer is that with the passing of time we can see how our lives have been affected by those around us, from the seemingly insignificant to the most powerful moments.
"In the arms of your mercy I find rest"
BJ
I can say with confidence that this is not the way I want to carry out my life. With these thoughts in mind I have this to say.
A few weeks ago Hayne posted on his blog under the heading Hebel. (You can check him out at pipesandpints.blogspot.com) Hebel being described as a vanishing mist and the undertones of Hayne's statements were that he was having trouble finding general meaning in life because everything seems to pass as a vanishing mist...Hebel.
I have thought about this and the affects we have on the people around us. I recently spoke with a professor at the school I work with. He made some moves that has pulled him out of his administrative rolls and put him back into the classroom. I was talking with him about this and it was a simple realization of the fact that time with his students, and time with his church community are the important things that he needs to be focusing on. It seems evident that he is pleased with this change and that he has confidence that God will honor his actions. (I tend to agree with that and have a great deal of respect for this man just for doing it)
Just last night I was at a concert. A band called 12 Stones was in Little Rock. I have supported the band for years mostly because I know the lead singer. I think their music is outstanding as well, but I could be a little bias. I had the opportunity to talk with this guy last night though. I hadn't seen him since the summer of 2000, but when he saw me he immediately remembered me, by name, and was reminded of some shared experiences and shared life.
I guess my point is this...we can learn from the Hebel. Many of the experiences in life may be but a vanishing mist when you look at the full picture, but that mist affects us. Hayne leaves for Omaha in October. If we never talk again, if the substance of our friendship vanishes like a mist, it doesn't become meaningless. I have been affected, changed, by that friendship. The lives that this professor touches because he is teaching in the classroom and in the community with all of his heart, will forever be affected by him.
My life has affected the singer of a band and likewise his has affected mine. The moments we have, we share, in life may be vanishing by that doesn't equate to meaningless. I know God calls me, as a Christian, to live a life caring for the poor, the broken, the hungry. I am sure he also desires that I show love and give a positive impact on the lives of the hundreds of people I come in contact with every day. I will be a simple vapor in most of their lives, maybe a thick fog in others, but I will have an affect either way. More specifically, I will have an affect on how they see God. Will they see him as meaningless?
I hope that I never overlook the Hebel in my life, for all those things have come together to make me who I am at this moment. I am not complete and I am far from perfect. It is clear that I cannot do any of this on my own...but I don't have to.
It can be easy to let ourselves get discouraged, to think of all that we have lost and will never again hold in our arms. That pain is real and it needs to be felt, it can't be ignored. However, there are blessings all through our lives and there is the good news because the Lord of all creation calls us into relationship with him. My prayer is that with the passing of time we can see how our lives have been affected by those around us, from the seemingly insignificant to the most powerful moments.
"In the arms of your mercy I find rest"
BJ
Thursday, May 17, 2007
4Years
This song was sent to me today and I thought I would share it. The name of the song is "I'm Not Who I Was" off the Don't Get Comfortable album by an artist named Brandon Heath. He gives a background and comments about the song at this link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrGfA6y9fNI
I'm Not Who I Was
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was
I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so
I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was
When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you
I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was
I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello
Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
It has been an interesting day today...there has been plenty to think about and it has been emotionally trying. It is a day that is supposed to be marked as "happy", but it doesn't feel that way, not this year. What do I hope for in the time that follows this day? I hope for healing, acceptance, understanding, redemption, the mending of souls. "The thing I find most amazing in amazing grace is the chance to give it out. Maybe that's what love is all about."
All my love,
B
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrGfA6y9fNI
I'm Not Who I Was
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was
I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so
I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was
When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you
I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was
I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello
Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
It has been an interesting day today...there has been plenty to think about and it has been emotionally trying. It is a day that is supposed to be marked as "happy", but it doesn't feel that way, not this year. What do I hope for in the time that follows this day? I hope for healing, acceptance, understanding, redemption, the mending of souls. "The thing I find most amazing in amazing grace is the chance to give it out. Maybe that's what love is all about."
All my love,
B
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Routine History
Later as he was sitting on Mount Olives, his disciples approaches and asked him, "Tell us, when are these things going to happen? What will be the sign of your coming, that the time's up?".
Jesus said, "Watch out for doomsday deceivers. Many leaders are going to show up with forged identities, claiming, 'I am Christ, the Messiah.' They will deceive a lot of people. When reports come in of wars and rumored wars, keep your head and don't panic. This is routine history; this is no sign of the end. Nation will fight nation and ruler fight ruler, over and over. Famines and earthquakes will occur in various places. This is nothing compared to what is coming."
"They are going to throw you to the wolves and kill you everyone hating you because you carry my name. And then, going from bad to worse, it will be dog-eat-dog, everyone at each other's throat, everyone hating each other."
"In the confusion, lying preachers will come forward and deceive a lot of people. For many others, the overwhelming spread of evil will do them in - nothing left of their love but a mound of ashes."
"Staying with it - That's what God requires. Stay with it to the end. You won't be sorry, and you'll be saved. All during the time, the good news - the Message of the kingdom - will be preaches all over the world, a wwitness staked out in every country. And then the end will come." (Matthew 24: 3-14 of The Message)
I have been spending most of my time, as of late, in the Bible reading through the Gospels. I have been so challenged by God that I really wanted to take time to read and study Jesus' life and teachings. I have read some great things and heard the stories that Jesus spoke and when I really think about it I find the Gospel writing to be quite amazing.
The above portion of Matthew 24 really stood out to me. The rest of the chapter continues with Jesus challenging us to guard ourselves from people claiming to be him. It is pretty neat actually because Jesus is telling them you will know when I return. There will be no doubt in anyone' s mind. He is also very clear that no one but God the Father, knows when the end of times will be.
But, back to the first part. I had never looked at this teaching this way before. First of all, Jesus does not make a big deal of wars and natural disasters. In fact, the thing he does make a big deal of is later in the chapter, regarding a desecration in the temple. But he says clearly, wars and rumors of wars are nothing to get caught up in. Earthquakes and famines...these are things that will occur in the natural order. I don't know if I've ever understood what he was saying here, because I was under the impression that these things might mean something...maybe not.
But, to the thing that really stood out to me. Lying preachers will deceive and evil will overwhelm people to the point that their love will be no more. Nothing left of their love but a mound of ashes.
Jesus speaks of the end and he isn't banging the drum, warning of wars and destruction, but of a world filled with deception and loveless people.
Master, what is the greatest commandment? He replies to love the Lord your God with all your being, and similarly to love your neighbor as yourself.
"For many others, the overwhelming spread of evil will do them in - nothing left of their love but a mound of ashes." It's heart breaking isn't it? A people loosing their ability to love. Can you think of anything more destructive to an individual person and their community than to stop loving? It's so powerful and again more than anything we see Jesus concerned with love over all things. It's because of God's love we are offered redemption. We can be filed with God's love. Our love isn't perfect, it won't sustain us, but God's love is and because of his love of us we can love. It's a beautiful picture that gives a glimpse into the heart of God and what Jesus was trying to do with his life and has continued to do through his death and resurrection.
May you find the love of God in you life. The love that knows all, forgives all, and loves unconditionally, and in knowing God in this way may you love those around you with the same fierceness.
Jesus said, "Watch out for doomsday deceivers. Many leaders are going to show up with forged identities, claiming, 'I am Christ, the Messiah.' They will deceive a lot of people. When reports come in of wars and rumored wars, keep your head and don't panic. This is routine history; this is no sign of the end. Nation will fight nation and ruler fight ruler, over and over. Famines and earthquakes will occur in various places. This is nothing compared to what is coming."
"They are going to throw you to the wolves and kill you everyone hating you because you carry my name. And then, going from bad to worse, it will be dog-eat-dog, everyone at each other's throat, everyone hating each other."
"In the confusion, lying preachers will come forward and deceive a lot of people. For many others, the overwhelming spread of evil will do them in - nothing left of their love but a mound of ashes."
"Staying with it - That's what God requires. Stay with it to the end. You won't be sorry, and you'll be saved. All during the time, the good news - the Message of the kingdom - will be preaches all over the world, a wwitness staked out in every country. And then the end will come." (Matthew 24: 3-14 of The Message)
I have been spending most of my time, as of late, in the Bible reading through the Gospels. I have been so challenged by God that I really wanted to take time to read and study Jesus' life and teachings. I have read some great things and heard the stories that Jesus spoke and when I really think about it I find the Gospel writing to be quite amazing.
The above portion of Matthew 24 really stood out to me. The rest of the chapter continues with Jesus challenging us to guard ourselves from people claiming to be him. It is pretty neat actually because Jesus is telling them you will know when I return. There will be no doubt in anyone' s mind. He is also very clear that no one but God the Father, knows when the end of times will be.
But, back to the first part. I had never looked at this teaching this way before. First of all, Jesus does not make a big deal of wars and natural disasters. In fact, the thing he does make a big deal of is later in the chapter, regarding a desecration in the temple. But he says clearly, wars and rumors of wars are nothing to get caught up in. Earthquakes and famines...these are things that will occur in the natural order. I don't know if I've ever understood what he was saying here, because I was under the impression that these things might mean something...maybe not.
But, to the thing that really stood out to me. Lying preachers will deceive and evil will overwhelm people to the point that their love will be no more. Nothing left of their love but a mound of ashes.
Jesus speaks of the end and he isn't banging the drum, warning of wars and destruction, but of a world filled with deception and loveless people.
Master, what is the greatest commandment? He replies to love the Lord your God with all your being, and similarly to love your neighbor as yourself.
"For many others, the overwhelming spread of evil will do them in - nothing left of their love but a mound of ashes." It's heart breaking isn't it? A people loosing their ability to love. Can you think of anything more destructive to an individual person and their community than to stop loving? It's so powerful and again more than anything we see Jesus concerned with love over all things. It's because of God's love we are offered redemption. We can be filed with God's love. Our love isn't perfect, it won't sustain us, but God's love is and because of his love of us we can love. It's a beautiful picture that gives a glimpse into the heart of God and what Jesus was trying to do with his life and has continued to do through his death and resurrection.
May you find the love of God in you life. The love that knows all, forgives all, and loves unconditionally, and in knowing God in this way may you love those around you with the same fierceness.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
